He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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