Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hippo gnu deer
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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