so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am available for nakedness
Randomize