If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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