i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize