Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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