Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"