i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE