I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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