I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
