**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
