she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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