I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
