just come out here and I will go home with you...
are you so shy because you have an std?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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