this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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