He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
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I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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