That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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