Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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