i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
