At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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