I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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