Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
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Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie