I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize