I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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