I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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