I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
