Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable