i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
