Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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