your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Of course I have a pirate flag
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?