i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?