I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
