Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
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Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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