So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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