I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize