but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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