Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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