He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize