I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
