I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.