then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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