My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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