New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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