I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize