We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
