This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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