Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize