dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize