I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.