thanks...oh and i got my period
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check