I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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