i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
