Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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